hidden joke~

Money is not everything.
-There's Mastercard & Visa.

One should love animals.
-They are so tasty.

Save water.
Shower with your girlfriend.

Love the neighbor.
-But don't get caught.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman.
-And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Every man should marry.
-After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

The wise never marry.
-Because when they marry they become otherwise.

Funny job application

Name：English or Chinese?
Age：Confidential
Height：Not related to the job
Weight：Varies all the time, before lunch or after
Residential Address：At what stage of my life, please be more specific
Phone：Ericsson
Email address：Only give to pretty and rich girls
Available working hours：shorter the better
Position applied：a post that has not much to do but surround by pretty and young girls
Language：fluent in bull..........s
Hobbies：Sleeping and sleeping
Experience：Fooling around all the time
Marital Status：Still looking for a rich and beautiful girl, hopefully can find in your company
Aspiration：Have a speech on stage and retire as soon as possible
Job expectation：Lesser workload the better